Cinco De MOMo

I grew up watching this show.  I played along most mornings in the summer.  Bob Barker and his BEA-uties were regular 10 am friends.  I had little problem selecting grocery items based on cost.  In fact I'd daydream that Bobbie would call me on stage and I'd be screaming like a maniac when I was told I would be playing PLINKO! Seriously, Plinko- my absolute favorite game.  I'd drop plastic disks down the peg board one by one. Sometimes I would hit big- once in a while I went bankrupt.

I've never really had a hard time deciding on the value of things. Which costs more or less? Peanut butter vs. Neosporin...Pah-lease Bob, who are you fool'n?  Fast forward to today...It's not 10 am and Barkers not on stage.  I guess I'm still playing, deciding which is more valuable.  Time with husband, myself, my kids, my family...the list goes on.

I was told 2 days ago that I spread myself too thin.  That I need to prioritize- that I JUST CAN'T DO IT ALL.  I had to step back and take a look at that and how I have been valuing things lately.  I look at my life like a juggling act.  Each priority of something I value has its own ball.  At different stages, I drop a ball or two.  It's life, sometimes my boys outweigh work or sometimes my husband comes before myself.  Lately I haven't been juggling myself very well.

 

She's pretty with-it, isn't she?  Really she's not.  She's bound to drop something because you just can't do it all at once.  I had too many balls in the air, so I made myself prioritize and narrow things down. And slow the rotation down.  I was losing myself and in the process not able to be 100% present with my boys, job or family.  In my drive to do it all, I wasn't really doing anything well.

I sat down last night and asked myself what was more valuable.  Juggling 3 jobs so I can give my boys what they needed or juggling 1 job and being 100% present- just being with them, listening to them. 

I made a few changes. 1. no more rushing home shoving down dinner so I can get to work and rush J to his soccer practice, karate class, or boy scout meeting.  I agree that being involved is important.  But not to the point that his involvement in things leaves less time for us as a family.  So I've set a rule.  Only 1 night of extra curricular activities, 1 night of 1 on 1 time with dad and I, and 1 night where we are all a family.  I know it sounds simple and most families do this anyway, but we weren't- we were too busy.  I had to schedule it in. In a way that makes me sad.  I undervalued my relationship with him because I thought he would get more from other people and experiences, when it was leaving him lonely and craving our attention. 

2. I am important.  If I don't take care of myself and make myself happy, then no one else can.  Being happy starts with me.  I can no longer blame my husband for my unhappiness.  Sure, he adds to it, but it isn't his job.  On the other hand, I cannot always be the gardener in our relationship.  There needs to be balance.  I'm not talking about a Showcase Showdown, but we need to schedule time in for each other, too.

3. I need to schedule in time for myself- physical, mental and spiritual.  I had been running on months of personal withdrawals until I found myself bankrupt...Most women cry it out in the shower- I however took it out on my lawn mower on Wednesday. Imagine that.

What do you value? What is more important in your life? Things? Relationships? Take time this weekend to reprioritize.