I Miss

family and friends- old, new, alive, gone.  If I heard Green Sleeves right now I may start crying and never stop. I love being around my family on holidays.  It's hard with everyone scattered across the US.  So, in the Beaver Lodge we have many family traditions.

We've been using Elf On The Shelf this month.  Our elf is McGinty and he's a pistol.  James has reprimanded him many  times for putting his undies on the tree or making flour angels on the kitchen floor.  Elfkins (Santa's helper) has been trying to take James to the North Pole the past few nights.  James finds notes telling him they had to turn around because he wasn't listening.  He finally pulled off a real visit last night.  James came back with a light wand that most street performers would love.  Elfkins sprinkles James with Forget Frost, so there are no memories.  There have been several written requests from James to lose the Forget Frost, but Elfkins is hardheaded.  With Elfkin's visit and James having lost a tooth the night before, it made for an interesting early morning.

Today James and I made a birthday cake for Jesus-  it started as a tradition 4 years ago with our cousin "Charley" and every year, James and I whip out the old Christmas Tree pan and get mixing.  This year's cake did not turn out.  We have high hopes that it will miraculously drop out of the pan (If the sides weren't burnt to a crisp, this may be possible). James and I left dad in charge while we finished up the final touches on Grandma/pa Farm's gift.  Oh well, we may have to improvise with a Charlie Brown Tree this year. 

We also make Santa's Cookies on Christmas Eve- oatmeal cranberry.   We have had the same Christmas Eve menu: cookies, overnight french toast, crockpot beef and these Doritos my mom used to make.  We play boardgames, watch movies read books and snoop under the tree- Oops. We also check Santa's progress all day long.  In the afternoon we go bowling.and then to 4pm mass. 

God isn't like Santa Claus.  He doesn't pop in and deliver everything we ask for in nice neat packages.  That's not how my God works anyway.  Really our Christmas traditions revolve around the 4 of us- family.  The thing I am most thankful for.  The only thing on my wish list this year.

Then on Sunday Morning, we will celebrate the wonders of being young and leave to go up to the farm so that I can have a little bit more of what I love the most.

Things I Thought I Knew...But Didn't

I thought I knew how to say no...my to do list is always growing.

I thought I knew how my life would turn out...really I'm one of the last people I consult.

I thought I knew that God would answer my prayers...really I was just molding God's Will to match my wants.

I thought I knew that that my parents were great parents...really they are even more amazing role models.



Neither of my parents have college degrees.  My dad is a farmer and a retired Union Laborer.  My mom works for the Abe Lincoln Veteran's Cemetery.  Both of them instilled in all 5 of us the importance of an education.  All 5 of us have continued on to further our education outside of high school. 

 "opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and it looks like work." 

Many people are born with extraordinary talents...pianists, artists or athletes.  I wouldn't put any family member in one of those categories.  My parents taught me that there is no substitute for hard work.  Sure, I was the weak link when it came to this, and really didn't put this into practice until my final year in college. But it has definitely paid off in life. 

My dad taught my son James what an imagination is.  He spent countless hours with him on the floor pushing cars, trains and anything with wheels.  He'd march him to the window and point to the moon so often that when Grandpa would go back to the farm, my 12 month old would point to the moon and say, "Grandpa's moon."  Grandpa Farm would climb the playground equipment and go down slides with James.  When they play baseball they both pause and wave to the invisible crowd before...a swing and a miss.  My dad worked extremely hard to provide for us when we were growing up.  I've witnessed him strap his overalls on every day of the week to feed veal calves or plow...you name it. He also missed out on a lot. But not anymore- he's willing to listen and even give advice if I need it.  He's always willing to drop everything and drive down, just to help out. 

My mom never said no to reading a book to me when I was growing up.  I'd crawl into her lap hundreds of times and she would take me on any adventure I pleased.  My mom has had more pain in her life then anyone I've met. She's lost many people- one was taken from her when she was too young. But, she still continued to lose people.  I sometimes think that my mom has lost so much that God is giving our family a breather.  But my mom's faith in God never wavers.  She taught me the importance of going to church-not just saying, "I believe!" She taught me to never quit, even when it seems like that's the only option. She also taught me that it's ok to feel like running away- she also offers to run away with me, whenever the feeling strikes. 

My parents have both taught me the importance of philanthropy.  They've given to countless organizations- the earliest memory I have of this is bringing toys to an orphanage.  They give every Christmas to the Kuzma Care Cottage  our small town food pantry.  We also no longer give each other Christmas gifts.  Instead, we donate the money to a family scholarship fund that goes to a high school student in my hometown. They've taught me that "community matters."

My role models aren't high priced athletes, actors who "can't get it together" or strung out singers.  My role models taught me to want to be a better person.  They've taught me to take leadership on issues I believe in.  They've taught me that there is nothing more important than your family.