Kicking Bad Habits in the Arse

It's tough- breaking bad habits. Poor Toby kicked the pacy habit's butt last week. Then he came walking out of his bedroom with this today. Here we go again.

I've fallen back on a few bad habits lately. Habits that I find to be mentally comforting at that time. Valentine's Day is a tough holiday for yours truly. It's a candy lovers dream come true. I take comfort in eating candy- always have. When I'm lonely or tired I grab a bag. Last night it was a bag of conversation hearts.

Yes I know, those chalky Pepto Bismol tasting nuggets-o-love. I sit here with morning after remorse shaking my head because I'm mad I did that to myself. What's the difference between that and drinking too much or even self mutilation.

Nothing really. That's just it-feeding my loneliness, stress or whatever emotion I'm afraid to face has got to stop. I have to start treating myself better. What I am doing is the same as Toby here. Relying on something to soothe my discomfort. I'm sticking a plug in whatever hole has dug itself in my surface, remove the plug and the hole is still there.

So I've decided to make a switch to feel a shift. If I'm feeling lonely because my husband is to busy and stressed then I will do something kind for him or someone else. If I'm feeling angry because it's 0 degrees out and the boys have been yelling and whining all day, I won't yell and whine with them. I will take a deep breath, exhale, then show them extra love and attention by making valentine's or giving "airplane rides". Since I've been feeling overwhelmed with life, I am going to volunteer to help in James' classroom on Valentine's Day.  Sure, I give up my own classroom for the day, but it will be worth it.

I'm going to try this for a week and see how my thinking shifts. Maybe it will, maybe it won't but I have to keep trying because I'm really sick of feeling sick of myself. I also signed up for a race.  The Schaumburg Egg Shell Shuffle.  So excited! It's over Easter Break so I can plan a trip to the farm and have something in the near future to look forward to.  Plus, it focuses me on a training plan and right now I could use a little focus!