Pity Party Over

So...

I'm trying to get this writing/ blogging thing down.  The whole process- figuring out what makes a post good.  Granite, it may take years, and that's OK- I'm okay with that.  Because like writing, I find all things follow along the same trial and error lines.
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Whether you are 7 (ehhhm- James B.) or 34 life is a journey.  Some of those journeys take us to places we never thought we would see.  Countries, success, achievements- and some more isolated, not well traveled.  It's those paths, the darker ones, where our true colors are exposed...where our cracks show.  It's in those times, the times of greater need, that we dig deep and find the determination- the will to inch forward.  And just when you think..this f'n blows-things are put into perspective. 

My perspective was given to me by an eleven year old girl- an old student.  A student who landed smack dab in the middle of my radar last week. I interrupted a conversation- one that wasn't appropriate.  30 minutes later, without eating any lunch we determined our course of action and set a date for the following day. 

To say that this student has made some changes in the past year is an understatement.  I called home. The home to this eleven year old for the past several years has been a hotel.  A hotel people.  This eleven year old girl lives in a hotel.  Imagine that- wrap your brain around it.  Walk in those shoes for a day and imagine how much sleep- not to mention QT w/ parental units she is getting.  When calling home for this particular student you are greeted by the front desk operator.  When I was told they no longer lived in said hotel I asked for forwarding information. All mail is being forwarded to the local homeless shelter.

Now on the shelter scale for human beings we are now on the ladder rung between "hotel" and "under a bridge by the interstate."    So when I hung that phone up- I teared up. Because this said student already had a crap ass hand delt to her and here it is 52 card pick up using only your nose. Good luck with that. So my heart is sad for her- not sad, you have an excuse for being a jerk the past two weeks sad, but sad that her fight out of poverty is a full on war now.

So, had I not witnessed this interaction and seek her out several times during my planning time to just sit in on her day I wouldn't have realized the plunge she had taken and the depression that was consuming her. I wouldn't have made 3 phone calls to different agencies in our area.  Agencies more equipt to handle her situation, to give her the weapons she needs to fight her way out of all that had consumed her the past year. Had I not witnessed it, had I not stepped in this post today would have been different. 

I would still be complaining about stress, work, blah blah blah.  None of that matters anymore because a little eleven year old girl dropping an f bomb taught me more in the past 3 days than I have learned in the past 5 years.  So when your down and you feel like you're not A Good Enough- parent, wife, co-worker...whatever.  Take 3 steps back and just look at the world around you.  Because from where I sit- things could be a bit better, but they are pretty damn good. And I am a pretty good parent, wife, whatever.