Day 21: I Forgive Others

It takes a long time to forgive someone.  Forgiveness does not mean trust.  It does not mean going back to the way things were.  It means separating yourself from the act or actor. I had tried this many times, to forgive.  I thought I had forgiven others and even myself for how I had been treated in my past.  But really after I would forgive I would pick that thing back up and carry it along with me.  I was so used to it, I didn't know what it felt like to go on without them holding on to me pulling at my head, shoulders, heart...a link of steel between myself and that person.

I stopped carrying those things around because they were not ME.  They did not define me.  There are no guidelines or rules to forgiveness.  It's not a 3 step process: Step 1- call up transgressor.  Step 2- Make them admit they were wrong. Step 3- hang up phone and skip down the sidewalk collecting rainbows.  Actually if you Google it, I think there may be 9.

I decided to put trust into God.  (I know I just lost half of you!) Forgiveness is a slow process.   We suffer the most because we choose not to forgive.  But when I pray, I start to see the person as I see myself- capable of doing wrong. God is the judge, not me. I ask God to forgive me, (Actually in 2nd-8th grades I asked him to forgive that I did not share my snack at snack recess..and he forgave me.  But I still continued to not share my food- guess my penance wasn't enough.) so why not forgive others and "give it up to God."

 Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

I have this saying- it works in many situations: "It is what it is."  I also change it as needed: "They are who they are." or "I am who I am." It helps me get through tough spots, to take a step back and reflect (not react) to situations and move forward.  So forgive someone who you feel has wronged you, or go seek forgiveness from someone in your life that you have wronged.  Life is short. This site has also helped me to put things into perspective.  Also, working in education for the past 13 years has made me realize how blessed I am to have been given this life.  I have had many students with parents in prison, parents making meth or abusing drugs, students who were abused and neglected or even abandoned.   My pity party usually comes to a crashing halt.