Day 9: I Found Self Confidence

When you are overweight as a child, you realize fast that your beauty will not win you prizes.  I was overweight, uncoordinated and lazy.  I stayed under the radar in the classroom, but enjoyed being the funny girl.  In high school I was given the title Class Clown.  I didn't mind being the butt of any one's joke.  Fool or not, my self-esteem was in the toilet.  I constantly felt bad about how I looked and in high school I cried about it- a lot.  No one knew how much it bothered me.  I never knew what to do about it. Everyone in my family was thin- maybe I was just "big boned" or my personal favorite "broad backed." 

My beautiful mom with my successful sister Margie! 

To steal a line from Op- when you know better, you do better. I started to educate myself.  When I started losing weight, and stopped feeding my emotions with food, I realized that I could achieve goals. Within 2 years I finished my Masters Degree, ran a marathon and started to tell people NO.  That was a big one for me.  I really never stood up for myself, because I knew that in retaliation someone would take a dig at my size.  When you reach goals, you build your self-confidence.

I began goal setting in other areas of my life.  It helped me manage my time and resources.  I have larger long-term goals that may take a few years to accomplish. I then break them down into smaller and smaller goals that will help me reach the larger goal. Kind of like a To-Do list.  I was never a list person, more like a fly by the seat of my pants into the closest candy aisle kind of girl.  My husband and I now sit down each New Year's to set goals.  We set personal goals, goals for our home, goals for our children and goals for our marriage.  We prioritize and set dates for when we want certain things accomplished.  It's on my fridge, I will show you if you ever come over.  We sit down every 6-8 weeks to look at our list and see how things are going. With Matt in school and working part time our short term goal recently seems to be- survive!  Goal Setting and self- reflection are 2 areas that we work with students on.  Maybe you sit down and make a 2 column chart- One side + (what's going well). The other delta (change). 

Try it, think about setting a goal for yourself in one of these categories:
Family, Education, Financial, Career, Attitude, Physical, Public Service, Pleasure

I recently (10 days ago- now it's a habit) set a goal- to meditate 5 minutes a day/ night.  (Keep an open mind people!) I sit in the early morning before my boys are awake or at night right after they are in bed and close my eyes. I say this Sanskrit Mantra and picture positive energy (gold light) pouring in the top of my head when I breathe in.  When I exhale, all negative energy leaves ( black light). I feel calmer, sleep better and value time, friends and family more.  Here's my mantra:

 For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is only a vision;

And today well-lived, makes

Yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.